Lauren Willig -- The Masque of the Black Tulip

I never thought I would find a series that I hate reading, but wouldn't mind having a factual account of what happens so that I could know how it all ends without having to actually read the books. Sad, isn't it?

I really hated The Secret History of the Pink Carnation. It was a glorified romance novel. The cover made me think it was one of these historical novels that are written fairly well and make you feel as if you might have learned something at the end of the book, whether you really did or not. Which, I know. I deserve it for literally judging a book by its cover. So, during the first book, I was expecting Phillipa Gregory and got something like Judith Krantz. Disappointing. And I really didn't enjoy the jumping plotline wherein you start in modern times with a young researcher and then jump into the past when she begins her research. And jump out at unexpected moments. It was very jolting.

But, perhaps I was too hasty. Maybe the fact that I just wasn't prepared for the kind of book it turned out to be is why I reacted so strongly to Pink Carnation.

Nope. The second book? I honestly threw across the room at the end. These books are whitewashed, simplified, dumbed down and they play it too safely. There is never any real danger to the protagonists. I'm sure the author thinks she is being clever and hiding the true villains til the end, but it is painfully obvious who the bad people are if you pay any attention to what's been written.

Worst of all? I'll probably read the next one, too. Thank God I have acces to a public library and I don't have to buy these books.

http://www.laurenwillig.com

Bella Andre -- Take me

This book was good in many ways: a non-traditional heroine who's a size 16, a lot of steamy sex scenes, some trash talk-- which always livens things up, in my opinion. But I felt that it failed in several ways as well. I found it vaguely insulting that a man could suddenly develop the hots for a friend he's known for years simply based on a sexy outfit. Travis goes from loathing Lily to instant lust, and I guess I just can't buy it. And Lily has made such a shrine to Travis over the years, loving a man who can't stand her-- I could see other scenarios taking place more realistically than the one that is played out in this book. But Travis is the character I have trouble believing in. There are many moments in the book where I can truly believe in Lily as a person, but Travis? One dimensional. His behavior doesn't match up. There wasn't enough character development on his end to make me believe that his actions made sense.
One thing I will say about the novel is that the sex is interesting. It's billed as "erotica" but really, it wasn't much different than other romance novels I have read, aside from the occasional "cock" thrown in here and there, and some masturbatory scenes.
Let's hope my mom never reads this blog. Heh.
I think that Bella Andre is going to improve, though. I will definitely give another of her books a try in the future.

Twilight before Christmas -- Christine Feehan

Oops, I did it again. I read another really stupid book from the Drake sisters series. This one is a normal length, as opposed to the first one I read. I thought that, once she'd gotten a little more writing under her belt, this series may turn out ok. I'm easy to please. I don't require much to entertain me.
But somehow, a book was published in which the characters, who are usually (in other situations) fairly educated and able people, can't figure out that they seem to be a good couple. But also, there is this mysterious, never fully explained misty stuff that likes following the heroine, Kate Drake, all around town, causing mayhem and doing really stupid things. Best of all, there is a poem at the beginning of the book that is intended to encapsulate what's happening in each chapter. "It was dreadful," to quote Simon Cowell.
The premise of this series is that these extraordinary women who do everything exactly right and have all these superpowers meet certain men and instantly, almost chemically, love is all around. I found this book to be especially childish, simplified, and unrealistic. And while I like a romance as much as the next gal with a healthy libido, I found this series to be lacking of anything worth spending my time on.